Things Men are Afraid Of

I read a short article by David Zinczenko the other day on Yahoo about the things that men are afraid of. The article was one of those list articles that people love to read (and write). As I’ve written occasionally about issues surrounding being a man, the article gave me a good excuse for a mid-day laugh. There were a few points that resonated with me:

1. Her tears. Like a lot of men, I have difficulty with women crying, especially my wife or daughters, but also students, mothers and just the occasional distraught woman in an airport waiting room. Why? I guess it’s related to not being much of a crier myself, but perhaps even more because I’m never quite sure what to do – give the distressed lady a hug (ok for my wife and daughters, but generally not ok for the other women), get her to talk the problem out (I’m generally unsuccessful with this approach but occasionally it works), explain why their problem isn’t worth crying about). You can see why I fear this.

2. Not being a god to his kids. Eventually every dad gets to the point where his kids realize that dad is just a flawed human being like everyone else (maybe even more than everybody else). Zinczenko says that men get to the point where they don’t care what co-workers, friends, in-laws, strangers and everybody else thinks about them, but having your kids verbally recognize your flaws is an emotional killer. As I tell my students occasionally, I’ve reached that point where I’m comfortable enough with myself that the opinion of others is fairly irrelevant to me, but I dread the day when my young children get to where my adult son is and see me as just this flawed person that lives with them.

3. Not seeing his kids grow up. As I get closer to 60 and my body begins falling apart like an old and loved junk car, I worry that I won’t be around long enough to see the littlest reach adulthood and be there to help her navigate her way through all the complexities of modern life in Indonesia. With my one child who has already grown up, his career and my career work to keep us from seeing each other, and I’d love to have some time to sit down and see what he is like as an adult.

4. Living paycheck to paycheck. As I wind my career down, I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying if my savings will be enough to carry me and my family through my old age and their remaining childhood years. For someone who has been working since I was 10, the idea of having no money coming in is scary.

5. Public humiliation. I’ve made my share of really stupid mistakes in the past 57 years. The ones that were public have stayed with me and pop up occasionally in the late night hours. I keep hoping that I can get through the rest of my life without making any more public mistakes.

Zinczenko listed 10 other fears, but most of those have either passed me (a father’s death), or aren’t relevant to someone who lives in the jungle (Super Nanny, speedos). One fear that he didn’t list, but which has become an issue over the past few years is not being able to take care of myself. I’ve had a number of accidents since I’ve moved to Sumbawa which have disabled me for a certain amount of time, and I just hate being dependent on others. The idea that I may end up being too ill to function independently gives me the chills.

So one more blog about being a guy.

Macs and Windows

Last month I bought my first Mac in over 8 years. The switch from Macs to PCs was originally done because of the difficulty with getting Macs serviced in Bali, as well as the difficulty of buying software and connecting to the Internet. The Internet connection problem no longer is an issue in Bali, nor is getting the Mac repaired if need be. Software is still an issue, however, as I've yet to find Mac software in Bali.

But...I do love my new Mac. I purchased the 20 inch iMac, and it's great. It just seems to run much more smoothly than my PCs. Of course, I do still have the software problem, but I'll be in Bangkok next month so I'm hoping to find Mac software there.

Wiki link

This is the link to the wiki that we are playing with right now. We are just starting to play with a Sumbawa page.

Surgery in Bali

The first surgery on the swelling on my ankle didn't work in getting rid of it, so the doctor sent me out to Bali to have it looked at by an orthopedic surgeon. I ended up at Kasih Ibu hospital in Denpasar. The hospital is very modern and seems to be fairly complete. The doctor did some cutting and took a few cysts out of my ankle. I left the hospital as soon as I recovered from the anaesthetic. Right now I'm back in Sumbawa hobbling around but getting there. The stitches should be out in another ten days. So far, so good; but, I think that I'll be a little more careful when cutting the grass from now on.

Educational wiki use

My students started their first wiki work today. I found the wikiplaces wiki a week or so ago and have been thinking about how to use it, and which classes to use it with. If I remember correctly, I found the site by following a link from Susan Sedro's blog which is listed here in the links section.

We decided to go with the encyclopedia format and add some photos and text. I do have a question about photo use. The students are looking for photos that aren't copyrighted. I think that according to fair use, students can use photos if they give credit to the photographer. Anyone who can comment on that out there?

More on the wiki work later

Another One of Those Annoying Tropical Maladies

After five weeks of having a golf ball sized lump on my ankle after an encounter with a flying rock while cutting my lawn, the doctor here in townsite decided that it was time to do some cutting. So we’re waiting to see how things work out. Just one of those little things that happen when you live out in the jungle using less than safe equipment to do what is generally a routine job back in civilization.

So today I’ve been laying around the house resting the foot. Everyday now we go without electricity for at least a few hours, and often for most of the day. If there is no electricity then we also don’t have water because the town water system needs electricity for the pump to work.

With no computer access and no electricity to watch tv, I spent the day doing some reading. Today I went through the book, To the Spice Islands and Beyond. The book is a collection of excerpts from travel writings from the 16th century up through the 20th. I love historical travel writing partly because it gives the reader insight into some of the prevailing social and ethical values, as well as a take on what the culture was like at the time. Reading through each extract, I wanted to buy the books that they came from. I found an excerpt from a book that I read 18 years ago in Tembagapura, In the East My Pleasure Lies. That book was written by an English aristocrat who traveled around Indonesia in the 30’s. She was fairly unusual for the time – taking buses with the locals as well as hanging out with government officials, scientists, and other interesting characters. I always wanted to steal the book from the Tembagapura library as I figured that it wouldn’t be read much and the chances of me finding the book anywhere else would be slim. I let my moral scruples get the best of me though, and I didn’t steal it. Hopefully, I’ll find it around somewhere.